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History of Earth (Russi Universe)
The following recounts the history of Earth: Timeline *1000000000000 BCE: True Babies Evolve on Mars *800000000000 BCE: First Baby Revolution occurs, splitting the True Babies into two factions. One tries to colonize Juipter and the other Earth. *100000000000 BCE: True Babies Colonize Jupiter *1000000000 BCE: True Babies Colonize Earth *100000000 BCE: Pork Founded *50000000 BCE: Babyton founded with its capital as Pork *40000000 BCE: The to-be One True Baby goes into his slumber on Mars. *2000000 BCE: True Babies Evolve into Jupiter Babies on Jupiter *1800000 BCE: True Babies evolve into humans on Earth *1200000 BCE: Humans abandon Pork and spread out from Babyton to the rest of the world *1000000 BCE: The Juipiter Babies forget their heritage and scorn the ways of the True Babies *800000 BCE: Fall of Pork and Babyton *700000 BCE: Russi founded by Babytonian Ancestors. *230000 BCE: Europe founded by Russi conqueror Charlemagne *140000 BCE: America founded by Russi explorer Columbus *120000 BCE: Asia founded by Russi philosopher Sun Tsu *100000 BCE: Russi collapses into its individual parts *90000 BCE: Europe splits into Germany, Britain and Rome *78000 BCE: The Aztech Empire takes over America. *30000 BCE: Asia splits into Japan, Korea, Chinaland and Australia. *29000 BCE: Antarctica (Iceland), founded by Cortez. *25000 BCE: World War I between Germany, Britain, Japan, and Antarctica against Rome, Korea, Chinaland, Aztech Empire, and Australia. The war starts because Augustus Ceasar of Rome insults Bismarck of Germany. The German side wins. *24700 BCE: The new German Empire takes control of America, Rome and Australia. *17000 BCE: Japan and it's conquered territories of Chinaland and Korea become the Chinese Coalition. *11000 BCE: Prussia formed by King Freedrich. *8776 BCE: First American Revolution led by Obama and Geroge Washington. The American Federation breaks away from the German Empire in America. *8500 BCE: World War II between Britain, American Federation, Prussia, against German Empire, Chinese Coalition. Starts over continued German oppression of Americans. The American side wins. *8450 BCE: Prussia gains control of most of Asia from the Chinese Coalition. Australia becomes independent as New Germany. Germany Empire collapses but core Germany remains. *8300 BCE: The U.S.S.R. (Mother Russia) founded by Stalin Lenin in former German and Chinese lands. *8250 BCE: Franceland founded in former German lands. *5000 BCE: The American Federation declares itself the American Empire. *4300 BCE: American Banks take over the world and it all becomes part of the American Empire. *1000 BCE: A remaining True Baby named Jesus becomes president of the American Empire. *0 BCE: Jesus dies. *1000 AD: Jerald Puttin writes "Why Banks Suck" *2014 AD: Alan Trotski starts the Russian Revolution against the American Empire. Fueled by hate for the corrupt banks, the revolutionaries win and the American Empire collapses. Russi Two is established in its place. *2016 AD: The original American Federation is split into England and Puerto Rico. *3000 AD: The last True Baby, known as the One True Baby awakens on Mars. *3004 AD: The Jupiter Babies reject the One True Baby. *3014 AD: The One True Baby comes to Earth and takes Vorrest Keng as his spokesman. He becomes Presudent of Mother Russia soon after. The Second Baby Revolution Begins. *3015 AD: Lorelei King rejects the word of the One True Baby and starts the Second American Revolution with Joe Montanna in England. They take over the country and rename it to the United States of America. Madeline becomes President of Puero Rico and alignes with Mother Russia. *3016 AD: The Americans try to invade Germany to crush the remaining power of the Russian Alliance, but are driven back. Puero Rico enters war with the USA over the Puero Line. Afríca invaded by Mother Russia. *3017 AD: Minor terror attacks occur throughout the Russian Alliance, including the Fall of the Berlin Wall and the Great Pie Bomb Disaster. New Pork built. *3018 AD: The Russian Alliance attempts to invade the USA by sea but is repulsed in the Battle of the Atlantic. *3019 AD: Joe Montanna separates Puero Rica from the USA and makes peace with the Russian Alliance. *3020 AD: Madame Sofia invents the Baguette Bomb. Britain leaves the Russian Alliance. *3021 AD: The Russian-American Acknoledgement treaty is signed. The Second American Revolution ends with the USA being recognized. President Madaline of Puero Rico makes peace with the USA a month later. *3022: American Supported Random Terrorists take over Cuba. *3023 AD: The War on Terror Begins with the passage of the Anti-Torrorism Act by Mother Russia. Puero Rica joins the Russian Alliance. *3024 AD: Britian rejoins the Russian Alliance over concerns of Random Terrorist Attacks. *3025 AD: The Battle for Cuba occurs. Cuba is liberated and the Random Terrorists defeated. *3026 AD: Anti-Jupiter Baby Invasion Alliance Pace is signed. The Puero Line is moved south as a result. *3028 AD: Jupiter Babies invade Earth to try and destroy the influence of the One True Baby. The Baby War begins. *3029 AD: The Battle of Prussia and Battle Over the Atlantic occur. *3030 AD: The Battle Over Puero Rico and Battle of New Germany occur. *3031 AD: Madame Sofia developes Anti-Starship Baguette Missiles. The Battle of Mother Russia occurs. *3032 AD: The Jupiter Babies are defeated in the Battle of Europe and the Battle Over the USA through the use of Baguette technology. *3033 AD: The Jupiter Babies retreat. *3034 AD: The One True Baby sacrifices himself to turn humans into Super Babies to reward their efforts. *3035 AD: The Battle of Jupiter occurs. The Super Babies defeat the Jupiter Babies. *3036 AD: Reconstruction begins on Earth. World peace is achieved. *3037 AD: Vorrest Keng is revealed to be possessed as the reincarnation of the One True Baby. *4015 AD: Donald Trump runs for president of the USA, his followers break the thousand year peace with the start of the Meme War to elect him. *4016 AD: The Meme War ends as Donald Trump is elected president of the USA. *4017 AD: Lorelei King is exiled from the USA by Trump. She garners the help of Vorrest Keng and the Russian Alliance to oppose Trump. Trump Tower is built. *4018 AD: Trump builds a wall around the USA. *4019 AD: Puerto Rico and Puerto Rica ally and start a war to try and depose of Trump, aided by the Russian Alliance. *4020 AD: Puerto Rica is nuked by the USA. It is utterly destroyed. *4021 AD: Full scale invasion of the USA through the Puerto Line by Puerto Rico. Casualties are high to get past the wall, but the Tricycle Ram breaks through. *4022 AD: Mother Russia nukes Trump Tower. *4023 AD: The USA nukes most of the world. All other nations surrender, as Trump's wall protects most of the USA from counter nukes. The One True Baby goes into hiding with President Madaline, Madame Sofia, Lorelei King, and José. *4030 AD: Trump takes over the remains of the world. The United States of America becomes the United State of Trump. *4031 AD: Trump outlaws fun and terror reigns. *5000 AD: Under Trump super babies start devolving into humans again. Trump remains immortal though. The followers of the One True Baby, hiding in Iceland, remain super babies. *6012 AD: Madame Sofia uses Baguette Technology to create the Baguette Worm, a parasite that infects through eating baguettes and makes the host happy. *6016 AD: Baguette Worms are shipped throughout the Americas. *6017 AD: Protests against Trump begin in the Americas as people want to be happy again. This starts the Not My President Revolution. *6018 AD: Madaline becomes president of Puerto Rico again after it rebels from the UST *6019 AD: With the help of Puerto Rico, the former USA also breaks off from the UST. It becomes the Republic of America with Lorelei King as its leader. *6020 AD: The One True Baby comes out of hiding. Riots against Trump break out worldwide, especially in Mother Russia. Madame Sofia develops the Happiness Nuke. *6021 AD: As his reign crumbles, Trump moves to a secret bunker in Botswana, New Babyton. *6022 AD: The first Happiness Nuke is launched at Papua New Germany. Trump's rule there is overthrown immidatly. *6023 AD: Botswana is bombed by a Happiness Nuke. It's people turn over Trump. *6024 AD: Trump is exiled from the solar system. World peace is re-achieved.